How hard is it to let go of what doesn’t serve you? Most of us who are on this spiritual journey have read many books and in theory, we all know at least one way of doing it. The question is do we practice it? For example, do you know how to forgive? There is always some work to be done and this life journey is one great never ending experience. I love sharing my stories with you because sometimes it can help you not to go all the way through some experience. Sometimes it’s worth skipping some steps but still, gain experience. Isn’t that the reason why we came here?
Let’s start with the most important person in your life: YOU. Do you take good care of yourself? When I say taking good care of yourself I mean do you have enough COMPASSION, LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, SAFETY, SUPPORT, FORGIVENESS, CONFIDENCE in yourself? While we were growing up we learned all of this, but what if we were abused in our early childhood? For example, a child who was molested, neglected, abused (verbally or physically) is more likely to lack some of these feelings and sentiments. If we didn’t learn what it feels like to be safe, how are we going to know the difference? Such a person will always live in a world where it’s ok to be unsafe. The very first step would be to instill a sense of safety and teach a person that it is ok to feel safe and that they are always safe and protected.
Imagine yourself in a surrounding where everybody brings out the best in another person. You have friends around you who understand you, support you and your decisions. Is this your story or is this a fairy tale? Of course, not everyone will be perfect in our lives. Some of them have to teach us a lesson. Also, some of them represent our beliefs. If you have a friend in your life who is constantly confronting you, making you feel guilty, and trying to prove you wrong what if I tell you that that person is mirroring your beliefs? In this case, we will go deeper to find the root of this belief and change it into a positive one. The one that will serve your highest good. Indeed, it can happen that this friend will leave your life; however, the next one that comes will represent a new you and that is really important. Surround yourself with people who help you grow. I remember I was constantly receiving a message from the Universe that I should let go of some really close friends in order to grow. There was nothing bad about them, it was just that they were bringing out the worst in me. Which, again, wasn’t that bad. I was able to see what belief I have to change. I would get into an argument with this friend and would feel terrible after that. However, I would never blame this person for that; hence, I would go inward and try to find the root for this. With time, I had to let go of a friend but I will always be grateful for the lessons I’ve learned.
Let’s talk about forgiveness. I had a period in my life when I was constantly googling this term. Also, I have a tattoo on my back that represents forgiveness, yet I didn’t know how to forgive. My goal was to find the easiest way to do it. Honestly, there is no easy way to do this. At least, not in my story. It is a process until we are truly ready to let go of this memory. Suppressing a certain situation will only make it come back again in a different shape or form until we are ready to completely forgive and set ourselves free. Recently, I had a client who was abused since she was 3 years old. The pattern was repeating through her whole life. We dug until we came to a realization that the pattern was coming from a relative who was abused and thought it’s ok to be abused. We changed the pattern, taught her ancestors and her female relatives living and gone that abusing was not ok; I witnessed how the Creator showed them what it feels like to be loved and safe, and she was ready to forgive. The Creator asked her if she would like to bring all the abusers in front of her and forgive all of them. She accepted. This was a gigantic step for her. Before we started the session all she wanted was for them to experience everything she went through. Now she was standing tall in front of them, proud of what she had become. She forgave.
Another really good technique to forgive I learned from Louise Hay. This is something you don’t need a practitioner, you can do it by yourself. Go into meditation. Imagine yourself sitting in a theater. Imagine a person you want to forgive coming on the stage. It can be somebody from your present or your past, dead or alive. You have two ways to do this. The first option would be to imagine how good things are happening to this person. Imagine this person with a big smile, happy for everything that is happening to them. Freeze this image for a couple of seconds and the person can leave after. Now imagine yourself on that stage, happy and satisfied because good things are happening to you, too. Don’t forget that the abundance is for everyone. Keep that image for a while and then come back into the present moment. A second way would be to imagine that person on the stage, and if you think that the only way for you to forgive them would be if the person suffers the same way you did, imagine what you like to see happening right now on the stage. Finally, imagine them happy and set them free. Repeat this any time you feel the need to forgive in order to set yourself free.
So instead of holding onto things that don’t serve us anymore, things that with time will wear us down, we just need to let go. If you are afraid that the spot will remain empty once you remove, for example, anger, don’t worry. It will be replaced with something that will serve your purpose. Go into your inner inventory and investigate those areas that cause you to be unhappy, relationships that drain you. Slowly over time, you will find yourself in a happier place by attracting those people whom you wish to spend your time with. You must also become that which you wish to attract. If you desire to have more love, honest and trustworthy connections in your life, then it stands to reason you must also become the embodiment of those qualities and values yourself.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
— Buddha